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Finding Inspiration
A Ladies in Love Romance
By Magda McKune
Part Three
CHAPTER 9
I woke up early and decided to get up and let my sweet companion snooze a little longer. Tammy looked so adorable when she slept and I always wanted to hug her tightly to my breast. But there was plenty of time for that later. Plenty of time for cuddling and making love with my hot sensuous blonde female partner.
I stood at the kitchen counter and poured hot water over the teabag in my cup. As much as I loved waking to her in the morning, I thought I’d be good and let the girl sleep a little longer.
I stared at the swirling dark cloud in my teacup as a feeling of dread began to wash over me. In reality, we didn’t have all that much time left together. In a few days, Tammy would be gone and I would be all alone once more. No more cuddling, no more laughter, no more late-night love sessions. My heart ached at the mere thought of her leaving. I wanted the girl to stay longer but Tammy had a life of her own. After all, our agreement was only a temporary arrangement. I knew someday it would be over, but I didn’t want it to be over so soon.
Tammy padded up behind me in her bare feet and bathrobe and wrapped her arms around my waist. She rested her cheek onto my back and sighed with contentment. “Good morning, my love,” she lilted happily. “I missed you terribly when I woke up and found you weren’t there.”
I turned my head to her. “What did you say?”
“I said I missed you terribly –“
“Before that.”
“I said good morning, my love.”
I turned in her arms. “You never said that to me before.”
Tammy beamed brightly. “Perhaps it was because I never realized I was in love with you until now.”
I stared deeply into her eyes with earnest. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes, darling. I do.”
I wrapped my arms around her back and held her tightly to my bosom. “Oh God, Tammy! I didn’t know how to tell you, but I’ve been madly in love with you for days. I was scared to say anything because I was afraid you would reject me and turn away.”
Tammy smoothed her hands over my naked back. “There’s no need to fear, sweetheart. It took me awhile to accept my true feelings because no one has ever been so good to me as you have been. I was scared that I was receiving the wrong signals from you about me.”
I kissed her passionately and reached down to untie the belt of her robe. “Let me feel your body,” I rasped lustfully. I opened her robe and reached inside. Her flesh felt so soft and warm to my touch. I slid my arms around her waist and groped her perfect ass. “God, you are so fucking beautiful,” I panted.
Tammy kissed me softly on the lips. “Come back to bed and I can show you how much I love you. That is, if you prefer to have an actual demonstration.”
I leaned back and gazed lovingly into her beautiful face. “I love you, Tammy Taylor. I worship and adore everything about you.” I kissed her. She expelled her breath into my mouth and I felt the girl melt in my arms. My heart swelled with pure desire for this lovely lady. I had set out to find what it love was and I certainly found it. The answer was right here in my arms.
I finally let the girl up for air and she hugged me. “I don’t care if you only love me for a minute or a day or a week or forever and ever. All I know is that I love you right here and now and that is enough for me.”
I pressed my cheek to her face and held her in my arms. “I know my love for you will last for more than a day, my sweet darling.”
Tammy leaned back and smiled into my eyes. “Come back to bed, lover. I want to make love to you and satisfy you over and over.”
I smiled and took her hand in mine. “I have a feeling this is going to be a very long and special morning for us.”
“Me too.”
The morning passed quickly. Tammy and I rolled in the sheets for hours; kissing, fondling, licking and loving. No more lessons on intimacy and romance. My training was over. The time had come for sheer joy and passion and unrestrained love. Neither of us was the student or the teacher. We were simply two women expressing our affection for one another. It was an intertwining of bodies, spirits, and hearts. Neither of us had anything to prove, only the honest expression of adoration for one another.
I was amazed that my partner was the first to use the “L” word. I fought against saying it to her so many times over the past few days. I wanted to tell the girl that I loved her, but was too afraid — afraid she wouldn’t love me back. Or perhaps I was afraid she might laugh at me and call me a silly romantic. After all, what did I know about love? I had never been with any partner but her. I was merely confusing sexual intimacy and desire with true love.
And yet, I knew beyond a doubt that this was the real thing. I was deeply and genuinely in love with the girl with all my heart and soul. For Tammy to feel the same way about me was far beyond anything I could possibly hope for. I had found the love of my life in Tammy ordu escort Taylor and my heart swelled with joy that she was here with me in my arms.
Tammy rolled on top of me and smiled into my eyes. “You’re crying.”
“I can’t help it,” I whimpered pitifully. “I’ve never had anyone tell me they loved me before. Here I am, 34 years old and have never been loved.”
“Well, you are now, sweetheart,” Tammy whispered tenderly. She kissed the salty tears from my cheeks. “You are now.”
“Please tell me again, baby.”
The girl smiled down at me. “I think I can do better than that. I can tell you and show you at the same time.”
Tammy lay naked on her back, utterly spent and content. “Hoo, baby!” she sighed dreamily. “You wear me out!”
I shifted up onto my elbow and smiled down at her. I brushed away a few stray strands of blonde hair from her face. “You make me so indescribably happy,” I murmured.
“You look happy.”
I leaned down and tenderly kissed her lips. “Tell me that you mean it.”
“Mean what?”
“You know.”
Tammy smiled up at me. “I love you, Jules. I really mean it.”
My smile widened. “Sorry if I seem so amazed at such an admission, but I don’t recall anyone ever saying that to me before. Oh sure, my parents did when I was young, but they sort of have to say that, don’t they?”
The girl grew thoughtful and caressed my arm with her hand. “People tell me that all the time, but I know they don’t mean it. They say ‘I love you’ when I’m dancing, but that’s just lust talking. And when I’m having sex with a partner too. But that is merely an outburst of the moment, you know?”
I smiled and smoothed my hand over her bare breast. “I seem to recall shouting it myself in the throes of passion once or twice myself.”
Tammy giggled. “But that wasn’t lust. That was for real.”
I bent down to kiss her. “I must admit that part of it was pure lust, darling.”
“Well yeah, I’ll grant you that.”
I smiled into her beautiful eyes. “I do love you, Tammy. I really do.”
“I know, Jules.” She offered a wry smile. “How’s about we have something to eat? I’m starving!”
“I can make you breakfast in bed if you like.”
The girl laughed and caressed her hand down my side. “You don’t want me to leave this bedroom, do you?”
I chuckled and gently fondled her pretty tittie. “It would be a great time-saver keeping you in here. No need to be running back and forth.”
Tammy hooked her other hand behind my neck and pulled my mouth onto hers. “You want to keep me as your personal love slave.”
“No darling,” I exhaled into her mouth. “I want you to be my lover. Now and always.”
CHAPTER 10
I cracked one eye to the beams of morning sunlight peeking through the window curtains. I smiled and sighed with contentment. Yesterday had been the most perfect day I ever experienced in my entire life, a day filled with love, laughter, and lots of wonderful sex. Tammy was incredible. She made me feel and do and say things I never imagined possible. I finally discovered what love and romance and intimacy was supposed to be.
What a shell of a woman I had been all my life. A shell was an apt description, since I was hollow and empty inside. Tammy opened up a whole new world for me, one filled with love, desire and contentment. I knew that I would never want to go back to the loneliness I had known before she came into my life. We had revealed our love for one another and expressed it in as many ways as we possibly could. I never dreamed of loving a woman before I met Tammy and now I could not imagine a single day of my life without her in it. Tammy Taylor was a large part of my world, regardless of what anyone thought or said about us. I didn’t care what other people thought; only the way she made me feel when I was around her.
I rolled onto my side and reached to touch my lover. She wasn’t there. I opened my eyes to discover her side of the bed was empty.
“Tammy?” I called.
No answer.
I sat up and glanced about the room with the bed sheet clutched to my naked chest. “Tammy?” No reply. I didn’t hear any sounds coming from the kitchen or the bathroom. Had she gone out very early in the morning without waking me?
I glanced at her side of the bed to see a folded sheet of paper on her pillow. I felt an icy chill creep up my spine. I knew I had to read what it said but was terrified about its contents. I stared at it a long while, finally working up the courage to pick up the note and read it.
My dearest Ju-Ju Bear,
This last week and a half have been the best days of my life. I never imagined I could share so much joy and laughter and love with anyone. You are the kindest friend and most sensuous lover a woman could ever hope for. I love you dearly and can scarcely imagine how someone as wonderful as you would ever be attracted to me.
I realized in the middle of the night how vastly different we are. You are such a classy sophisticated lady and I’m an immature dumb kid. I lay osmaniye escort in the dark and watched you sleeping and knew that you loved me but I feared that someday the novelty of having a young lover would eventually wear off and you wouldn’t want me anymore. You would say that such a thing would never happen, but I can’t seem to suppress this fear I have that I may someday lose you.
We made an agreement from the start for me to stay with you for two weeks. This next morning will be day twelve. I can’t bear to live the next two days with the fear that you will be telling me it was over and you won’t be needing me anymore. I love you too much to endure the agony of having you tell me to go, so I will spare you the trouble. I want to leave knowing that you still care for me. As for our agreement, you don’t owe me anything because I am going before our two weeks are up.
Please don’t try to contact me for a while. I need time to sort out these feelings I have for you. If what we have is real, it can withstand our being separated for a spell. And if we find it was merely a lark, then so be it. I will cherish these memories of our time together in my heart forever, knowing we both are a tiny bit happier and loving because of this experience.
Please know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will love you always with all my heart.
Tammy
I dropped the paper into my lap and held my face in my hands. My body shook, my chest racked with sobs as tears flowed down my cheeks. How could Tammy leave me like this? It was selfish I know, but I needed her and wanted her in my life. Oh, dear God, don’t leave me, baby! Tammy and I were perfect together. Sure, we were very different, but we were in love and that made all of our differences irrelevant. We were perfect partners and lovers and that was all that truly mattered.
I picked up the letter and reread the most painful words of all — don’t try to contact me. Maybe she was right — a short spell apart would not affect our feelings for each other if our love was real and true. But I didn’t know if I could endure it. I couldn’t bear to be separated from my sweet darling Tammy for even a single minute.
God, I loved her so much.
I curled my body into a fetal position under the sheets and wept inconsolably. What irony! Just when I found the love of my life, she leaves me to test our commitment to one another.
The tears rolled down my face as I wept. God, I needed her with me. I needed to feel her naked body in bed with me. Two weeks ago, I did not know what it was like to have someone share my bed, or make love to me, or let me give my love freely to someone.
I never felt so utterly lonely and alone.
I opened the door to find Marsha Bowers in the hallway. She winced slightly at the sight of my puffy red eyes from crying. “Hi.”
I moved to the woman and took her into a loving embrace. “Hello sweetie.”
Marsha was probably used to my overt expressions of affection by now. “I came as soon as I could.”
“You are so good to take care of me.” I removed the paper sack containing two bottles of vodka from her arms. “Please, come in.”
My friend closed the door behind her and followed me into the kitchen. “You’re not going to get drunk and do something crazy are you?”
I set the sack on the countertop. “Only the drunk part.” I opened the refrigerator and removed the pitcher of orange juice. “Screwdriver?”
“It’s ten o’clock in the morning.”
“Close enough to happy hour for me.”
Marsha slid onto a stool at the kitchen island. I handed her Tammy’s note from my robe pocket. I had read it so many times I could recite it word for word. Marsha scanned the letter as I took a water glass from the cupboard and mixed myself a tall cocktail. “So what are you going to do?” she asked.
“Get stinking shitfaced drunk.”
“I mean after that.”
“There isn’t a whole lot I can do. I have to give Tammy some space, I suppose.” I took a hearty gulp of my strong drink. “I can’t blame her for being scared. I imagine it came as quite a shock to the both of us to realize we were so much in love. I mean, I was such a cold fish for so long I didn’t even think it was even possible. And me falling for a pretty young blonde girl on top of it.”
Marsha raised her hand to stop me. “Whoa! Wait a minute! You are in love?”
“Madly.”
“How does Tammy feel about this?”
“She loves me too.”
“So what’s the problem?”
I took a hearty gulp. “I’m the problem.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I’m rich and famous and sophisticated and worldly. I’m also ten years her senior and boring as hell.”
“I see.”
I took another drink. “Tammy is so beautiful and sensuous and such a wild free spirit — not at all like me. She told me she had sexual partners since she was fourteen. Talk about your odd couple! A promiscuous exotic dancer and a dull aging novelist. You can’t get much stranger than that.”
“But you said you love each other.”
“Yes. sinop escort That’s the strangest part of all. I can’t get over the fact that she actually loved me back. Tammy is such an incredible girl.” I took another gulp. “You want a drink?”
“No thanks. You want me to keep you company for awhile?”
“That would be very nice of you.” I moved to her side and stroked my fingers through her dark hair. “I could really use a friend right now.”
Marsha gave me a wry smile. “You’re not coming on to me, are you?”
“No darling,” I sighed dejectedly. “I just want you to know you are the very best and dearest friend I have.”
“I love you too, honey.” She patted me on the rear. “Let’s sit on the balcony in the morning sunshine and you can tell me all about how wonderful that girl is. You told me she taught you about how to be romantic.”
“Oh God, did she ever!” I moved around the counter and mixed myself another strong drink. “We would stroll hand in hand through the park and sing love songs to each other. We even made out in my car as we went through the car wash.”
“I’m sure you were very happy with one another.”
“We were.” I took a drink and looked at my guest. “I paid her to be with me. We both understood it was a financial arrangement from the start. Tammy taught me about love and romance and sex because that was what she was hired to do. Neither of us expected to fall in love.” I took another swallow and moved to the woman. “It was a crazy scheme from the start, I admit. But if we hadn’t made such a pact, I never would have met her or learned from her or fell in love with her. In that respect, I am glad we did it.”
Marsha wrapped her arm around my waist. “Let’s sit outside and you can tell me all about her. But please leave out the hot juicy sex parts. It isn’t fair to get a frustrated single divorced woman all worked up so early in the day.” Marsha expelled her breath in a doleful sigh. “Or at any other time of the day for that matter.”
I draped my arm across her back and kissed the side of her forehead. “I am so lucky to have you.”
The first few days after Tammy left all I did was cry, get drunk, cry some more, and get drunk again. Then I began to write. The words poured freely from my broken heart as easily as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to tell the whole world my sad story. I wanted to share with everyone what I had learned about love and loss and how much I missed that dear sweet beautiful girl with all my heart.
Tammy taught me about lust and desire. She made me crave the human body more than I dreamed possible and gave me more pleasure than I could ever imagine. The girl showed me what romance was all about and revealed to me the many ways of unlocking my heart to all the beauty and tenderness that having a loving relationship with someone can hold.
We learned together about the tenderness of loving affection in the quiet hours of the night as we held each other in our arms. The joy of sharing a cup of coffee on the balcony watching the sunrise together, or holding hands and gazing up at the stars at night.
Tammy also taught me about the pain that accompanies the loss of true love. I knew in the depths of my soul that she was the desire of my life and that I would never ever be complete without her. Tammy taught me all too well the gut-wrenching despair one feels when their heart’s true love steps out of their life forever.
Tammy taught me about love — the lust, the romance, the tenderness and the pain. Little did I realize how thoroughly and effectively she would complete her task. I wanted to know about love and learned my lesson all too well. I knew that my writing and my life would be changed by that sweet darling girl forever.
Marsha Bowers raised her hankie to her face and covered her nose. “My dear Lord,” she wept pitifully. “This latest book of yours is the most beautiful thing I have ever read in my entire life.”
“You liked it?”
“Liked it? Look at me! I’m blubbering like a baby! It was fantastic!”
I took a sip from my glass of merlot and stated dryly, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
The agent set the manuscript aside. “This is far and beyond the best work you’ve ever done.”
“Thanks. Now take it away. I never want to see it again.”
“What?”
“It’s too painful to me. I hoped that by putting our story down on paper it would deliver me some peace. But the agony is still there, as fresh and as tangible as ever.”
“You still love her, don’t you?”
“With every fiber of my being.”
“Then why don’t you tell her?”
I took a drink of my red wine and shook my head. “Because Tammy was right. We come from two different worlds. She is a free young spirit and I’m an old stick in the mud.”
“She did not say that.”
“I’m paraphrasing.”
“Tammy loves you dearly and you know it.”
“Yes, I know she does. But she deserves better.”
“Better than what? A person who cares for her more deeply than anyone she could possibly imagine? Better than a sweet loving woman who wants to give that girl her heart and soul forever? Nobody could ever do better than that.”
I sighed dolefully and twirled the stem of my wineglass on the table. “It’s been three weeks. She hasn’t called or written or stopped by. She’s probably forgotten all about me by now.”
